Men, Porn Addiction & Intimacy

Five hard truths about men and porn consumption

Hey Mindful Tribe!

Ready to dive into the nitty-gritty of porn addiction, masturbation, and how it all impacts our relationships? Jon and Will sat down with men's mental health coach Elise Michaels, and let's just say, it got real, really quick.

Here are the top takeaways from this eye-opening episode:

1. Porn's Sneaky Impact on Relationships

Excessive porn consumption can distort our relationships, create unrealistic expectations about sex, and even lead to erectile dysfunction. Elise points out, "It disconnects you from the ability to understand what pleasure actually means for you."

What happens is frequent porn use shifts the focus of sexual activity towards attaining sexual gratification rather than intimacy, bonding and trust; three key ingredients in any healthy relationship.

2. The Shame Cycle

Chronic masturbation often leads to a vicious cycle of shame, anxiety and even guilt. Elise explains, "If you have chronic masturbation, you have absolute chronic shame. It's a shame cycle that leads to stress, anxiety, more shame."

What about guilt?
Nothing positive over here either. Masturbatory guilt has been linked to severe psychopathology, including anxiety and depressive disorders.

What if you didn’t masturbate for a week or more - how might this change you?

3. The Fantasy vs. Reality Gap

Excessive porn consumption trains your brain for immediate gratification, which can mess up real-life intimacy. "When you are with a partner, that's not something you want to happen. So now you're training your brain to just get to the coming part, not to connect," says Elise.

Biologically, porn alters arousal templates, making it more difficult to become aroused without it, which can negatively impact real-life sexual experiences

4. Sacred Self-Pleasure

Elise introduces the concept of "sacred self-pleasure," encouraging men to be mindful and present even when they're alone.

We can also call this Mindful Masturbation (yep we said it 😎). Wacking-off mindfully involves being mindful and present, which can help individuals reconnect with their bodies and reduce dependency on porn. This can also help heal old wounds and replace negative messages with new narratives of love, pleasure, and joy

5. Communication is Key

Open discussions about sex and masturbation can remove the shame stigma and build deeper connections. Have some fun in a new way! Elise suggests, "Include your partner in on your sacred self-pleasure. It can actually bring you closer together."

Couples who communicate openly about their sexual desires and boundaries experience greater intimacy and satisfaction. This will requires a lot vulnerability and I bit your relationship is worth it. Isn’t it?

Curious to hear more? Trust us, you don't want to miss the full episode. Tune in to get the complete lowdown and some laughs along the way!

Stay mindful,

Will & Jon
The Men Talking Mindfulness Podcast

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Here a little taste of what to expect from this episode:

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